Where is my boy
by Still-RIP-Speed
Summary: sort of songficAlexxLost Sonyou do the maths Dedicated to my brother, feed back is always welcome K cause its angsty


Disclaimer-I don't own anything to do with Miami...any characters etc etc

This is dedicated to my brother-10 years-23/03/07...but there are times when I still cry (even though I know) where is my boy

**Where is my boy?**

Alex braced herself against the side of the autopsy table as she heard the door crashing opening resonated around the room. She felt so sensitive to everything going on around her. But she didn't notice the men come or go and now as she looked down at the table she clung that must tighter to the side of the table as she saw her Timmy, her boy.

**Where is my boy?  
I saw you come out of a scene  
Maybe in some kind of dream  
Something that never comes**

She squeezed her eyes shut, she hoped, she prayed that it wasn't real, that it was all a dream. As she had stood in the jewelry store and looked down. She knew she had to be strong. The only person who could have the strength for their team looked so broken in front of her. She knew what she had to do.

But now, in her office, in her morgue she could let go. Her tears simply flowed down her cheeks. But knew what she had to do. She wiped the tears from her eyes. She began to prepare Tim for the autopsy. A full undress and wipe down. Each motion seemed to be in slow motion. Her mind screamed at her-

"What are you doing, you're undressing Tim"

She was half way through undressing Tim's shirt when she had to stop again. Her tears were enough to have wiped down the body themselves with the spray. She began to remember their times together. There was a connection between them that couldn't be explained. She had seen him grow up from a passionate, naïve boy to a sensible mature young man then as she closed her eyes again-she remembered one of the last conversations they had,

_-------------------------------------------------------------Flashback-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------_

_The young man lay on the table-drug overdose. Speed slapped on the latex gloves as he walked through the doors of the morgue. The usual smile was there to greet him; this threw him straight away,_

_"Alexx, you ok?" he gently placed his hand on her back, Alexx jolted back at the touch-to which he moved his hand away, "Sorry, you spaced out abit then"_

_Shaking her head she stood up right, "Sorry Timmy" He let out a small smile,_

_"Its ok, what you got for me?" Alexx put on her professional voice,_

_"Cause of death is cardiac attack, drug induced…" she carried on with the professional findings, when she reached the end-she reached out her hand and stroked the young man's hair,_

_"You just got in with the wrong crowd didn't you sugar? Your poor parents…" she stopped,_

_"Alexx?" His voice totally showed his concern_

_"Its just, we see these kids in, lives totally screwed up and then I go home and see my own kids and think-what if mine ended up like these? I bet their mother's didn't think as they were growing up I hope they end up dead off drugs at 19 years young. But there's nothing I can do, just try and be the best mother that I can…" Her voice trialed off._

_"Alexx?" She lifted her head and tilted to the side to see his face and he turned, crossed his arms against his chest and stood up and lean his hip against the autopsy table,_

_"You have nothing to worry about." She let out a little sigh, he knew what that meant-disbelief and his attempt to make her feel better so he stepped in, "I'm not just saying this to make you feel better, you know me better than that…But you need to know something…" He hesitated, beginning to shift his feet and look down at the floor as he spoke, "I…I was pretty lost. Family thought it would be dead end job, so didn't want to know me anymore-not that they knew or cared that much before anyways. You took me in, didn't judge me…" He let out another sigh and looked to the ceiling, "and…but… if there was anyone in my life that I would call Mom" he let out a nervous clearing of the throat "it…it would…it would be you"_

_Silence_

_Nothing more needed to be said, she gave a little nod, tears almost started forming in her eyes. He nodded back and she saw something she had never seen before-there were tears in his eyes too. As a small smile flashed across his face and he left the room…_

_--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------_

Why didn't she hug him? Say something? She shook her head and finished the under dressing.

She started the showerhead to let the water out and began to wash him down, gently fingering the entrance wound around his heart

**I say "where is the boy?"  
Have I seen you before?  
Yeah, I saw you before  
In some kind of a dream**

She couldn't believe this was real, over months Alexx had been having recurring nightmares, about each of her team-the final few had been Timmy. She woke and then smiled, realizing it was a dream. But the morning would not come this time-this nightmare wouldn't be ending, this was real.

As she looked down at Speed, a new emotion bubbled up-Anger. She said through angry gritted teeth,

"How _dare_ you do this to me Timmy, how dare you be so shabby-how many times have I told you to be careful? to take care of yourself? Why didn't you listen to me? Why were you such…why Timmy? How can you leave me like this?"

She threw the shower head into the sink, the tears streaming down her tear stained cheeks. Then she stopped again. Slowing turning around, she knew what was coming next. The dissection. No, she couldn't face that yet…not cutting into my boy. She decided to work from the top down.

**I said "where is my boy?"  
Have you seen me before?  
When I look in your eyes  
Tell me "he had to go"**

She moved her hand slowly to his face, cupping his stubbled cheek in her hand as she had done time after time before,

"Its ok baby, I'll be gentle" She moved her hand to brush through his short blacken brown hair,

"Lets see what took you far too early Timmy," She then moved her hands down to lift the lids from his closed eyes. As she did, the reality dawned. His beautiful chestnut brown eyes that had been so deep and inviting were now so shallow and clouded, her boy was no longer there

"You've really gone haven't you sugar?" She knew it was unprofessional but she didn't care. She leaned forward and kissed him on the forehead and whispered,

"Goodbye Timmy"


End file.
